Ear's To You AN and DISCLAIMER added
by Kenneth Black
Summary: Sango and InuYasha get into an early-morning ear fight. Miroku rues his actions.


_**A/N: **_Oooooooooooookay! Gents and Women, welcome! This story kinda revolves around ears and I got the idea from my aunt that had her ear blown out by her kid when he screamed into her hearing box. Wow, did that sure hurt. I didn't envy either of 'em. Now, on with the story!

{PS} My goal is for people to have a short chuckle here, so if you find yourself doing so, give me a fast typing of a review! Double-dog-dare-ya with an enraged hanyou named InuYasha behind that!

_**DISCLAIMER:**_ These characters have taken a break from being the stars of an amazing mangaka's work named Rumiko Takahashi to play the roles of being stubborn and odd here in my script. For their sake, I hope they had fun.

_**Ear's To You **__{humor, InuYasha, and Sango} + (Kagome)_

"Kagome! Kagome!" Sango woke to InuYasha's rough voice barking out for his 'beloved' Jewel Shard sensor. Graoning in frustration at the helpless whine in his voice, Sango contemplated dragging Hiraikotsu out at this ungoldy hour. It was still dark out, with the moon being hidden and all behind the threatening clouds. Yet not a bit chilly, though.

Skip Hiraikotsu.

Poking her nose out of the sleeping bag Kagome lent her, the demonslayer muttered irritably, "InuYasha, quiet down! Some of us are trying to get to sleep!" A short pause in bellowing. Sango was mildly surprised. The hanyou had listened to her?

"Keh. Not everyone has hearing problems and ears like yours."

Nope. During that sort pause, InuYasha had bounded over to her, leaning arrogantly into her bubble space.

Personal.

As in, Don't go there.

Giving a deadly glare Sango knew InuYasha could see, she huffed into the frigid air, "Ditto for you, pup-boy." A low growl, then...

"Yours are virgins."

Whoa. THAT surprised her.

"Wh-What?" Surprise shown on his face, then a supreme smirk covered it up.

"Yours are virgins," he repeated. "'cuz they got a thin covering inside o' 'em. Like a-" "INUYASHA!"

Horrified outrage. Yet not enough to make her get up and pummel him. Suddenly, it hit her; four in the morning, and they were bickering about ears. Well, she'd put him straight.

"Human ears were MADE like that, InuYasha. And NO 'breaking them in,' doggy man, 'cause it hurts. Got that?"

InuYasha didn't. He was grinning down at her, hurt-caused revenge in his eyes.

"I could fix yours." He snapped his knuckles by making a fist and Sango stuck her tongue out at him. "You wouldn't know just WHERE to jab your claws."

The hanyou stuck out his own tongue out at her, a bored look stealing over his face. "It wouldn't be my claws I'd be using..."

Sango slapped her hands over her ears, yelling, "Arghhh! You over-densed, keh-shouting, all-jerk, irresponsible EAR-TWITCHER!"

He was ready for her.

"Sango, will you please bear my child?" When Sango blushed furiously, InuYasha knew he'd hit it right on target.

That only made her madder.

"Oh, InuYasha, come here, you're mine- SIT BOY!" She sweet-talked him just right, JUST like Kagome, and InuYasha found himself leaning a BIT too far... BOOOOM!

Ground gave way as InuYasha shot downwards, planted by the beads around his neck.

"And you have soft, hairy ears, you PUP!" Racing to her feet, Sango towered over the cowering hanyou, waves of purple and red rage flickering off her like flames from a fire.

"INUYAAAAAAA-" Suddenly, hands shot out of her sleeping bag and around her bare legs, and at "SHAAaarghh!", she found herself sprawled, half-naked, over a petrified InuYasha.

"Sango-chan! The ear battle! You got it PERFECTLY right!"

InuYasha took a moment to gape dumbfoundedly at the girl, no- WOMAN, in the cocoon casing and registered, "No... school clothes..!" before he succumbed under the weight of Sango and perversion and let a nosebleed lead him down into unconsciousness.

The demonslayer, remembering WHY it was so warm and WHY Kagome was in her sleeping bag, stark naked, wasn't far behind the unconscious half-demon.

Kagome, staring at her two friends for the better part of two minutes, realized she was sleepy, and giving a drunk half hiccup, curled up under the sleeping bag. She was confused, and she felt horrible in her head.

Just WHAT had Miroku fixed for dinner the other night?

Miroku all but cried. Booz was his worst enemy right now. It had made Kagome and Sango go off, and InuYasha a whiny pup.

Not to mention Kirara and Shippo.

They's turned into NIGHTMARES.

Flaming up the area around until something in Kagome's bag burst and Miroku was forced to suck up all the fiery, HOT remains. The two had laid in his arms, giggling and mewing up at him with alcohol on their breaths.

Yeah. Booze. His worst enemy. Miroku needed some sleep. Unfortunately, a demonic bee flew by with a deadly stinger and he had to worry about the day ahead.

He took it back.

Booze was his second worst enemy. The hangover he sported was now his first.

It'd probably kill him off 'fore his hand did.

_**A/N:**_ I've come to collect on the good of that double-dog-dare! Type up something before InuYasha gets a bit of claw in ya!


End file.
